For much of my life, setting boundaries felt impossible. Like so many women, I was conditioned to prioritize others, to be the “good girl”—agreeable, selfless, and focused on everyone’s needs but my own. The idea of saying “no” felt terrifying, and I often found myself doing things I didn’t want to as I was caught in a cycle of people-pleasing—constantly saying “yes” when every part of me wanted to say “no.”
It took years of unlearning to realize that boundaries aren’t selfish. They are an act of love and respect—for both myself and those around me. Setting boundaries became my way of reclaiming my power, allowing me to show up more fully and authentically in my life.
My struggle with boundaries wasn’t just personal; it was woven into societal conditioning. From a young age, I learned that my worth was tied to how well I could care for others, avoid conflict, and keep myself small. This led me to constantly monitor my surroundings and fall into the fawn response—overriding my own needs to maintain peace and harmony.
Then, a moment came when I realized that this pattern wasn’t serving me anymore. It was draining my energy and pulling me further away from my body and my true self. Slowly, I began to unwind that conditioning, giving myself permission to say “no,” even when it felt uncomfortable. I started to protect my energy and honor what I truly needed. I began noticing the subtle signals my body was sending me—tightness in my jaw, tension in my shoulders, or knots in my stomach—that indicated my boundaries were being crossed.
A big part of this journey has been learning to connect with my womb space—the seat of my feminine intuition and creativity. While the womb holds profound wisdom for all women, this connection has been deeply personal and challenging for me due to my experience with adenomyosis, heavy bleeding, and ultimately, a hysterectomy at age 42.
Even though my physical womb is no longer with me, I’ve discovered that her wisdom still resides within. She continues to guide me, helping me sense when something is misaligned—whether through a heaviness in my body or an inner knowing that a boundary is needed. By honoring these sensations, I’ve learned to set boundaries that nurture and support my well-being.
For me, this connection to my womb has been a reclamation of my feminine power. It has deepened my trust in myself and reminded me that my worth isn’t tied to what I do for others. Instead, I focus on honoring my own energy and creating space for what truly nourishes me.
As I’ve deepened my relationship with my body, I’ve also started to honor the natural rhythms within me, particularly through my moon cycle. Each phase offers insight into my energy, emotions, and boundaries.
For women who no longer menstruate—whether due to menopause, hysterectomy, or other reasons—the phases of the moon offer a beautiful guide for cyclical living. Just as our menstrual cycles move through distinct phases, so does the moon:
New Moon (Menstrual Phase Equivalent): A time for rest, reflection, and letting go of what no longer serves.
Waxing Moon (Follicular Phase Equivalent): As energy rises, this is the perfect time for creativity, goal-setting, and forward movement.
Full Moon (Ovulation Phase Equivalent): A period of heightened energy, connection, and celebration.
Waning Moon (Luteal Phase Equivalent): A time for release, decluttering, and preparing for the introspection of the new moon.
By aligning with the moon’s phases, I’ve been able to honor my natural rhythms, even though I no longer bleed.
For me, setting boundaries has become much more than a practical necessity—it is a way of reclaiming my personal power. The more I listen to my body’s wisdom, the more empowered I feel to create boundaries that protect my energy and nourish my spirit. Boundaries aren’t about limitation; they are an act of love and self-respect, creating space for what truly matters.
With Love
Chelsea
Comments